One week Home

We have been home one week, Miss Ava and myself, and things are going well. She is a gem and save for all her spitup issues that we are working to figure out or may simply have to wait for her to outgrow, she is a dream of a baby. She is our fourth child so perhaps we are just a bit more on track with how to meet her needs but we stand in awe as to how perfect she fits our family!

Most of you know I have a thing for photos! I love to take photos, I love to look at photos, There is something so rewarding in playing around with my camera until I capture just the right moment. The problem is that as hard as I have tried, I still tend to have camera issues when shooting outside of auto mode which I try to no longer do. That is a whole other topic but suffice it to say that those who have helped me to better understand photography have finally convinced me that with good equipment I must shoot in a  manual mode or never get beyond the basic shot. I am a work in progress let me tell you but I keep thinking that 

Passion can often trump knowledge :)

So while going through the hundreds of photos I would like to share from our trip and our first week home, I stumbled across this one taken this week of Ava:

You know what I love about it?

You got it. 

It's OUT OF FOCUS!

To me it is the perfect image to remind all of us that so often life is blurry.

Life can be messy and even at its best very unclear.

our journey to Ava, which began two years ago on paper and four years or more ago in 

our hearts, was very blurry.

We had mountains of fear and so many questions.

At times the process seemed insurmountable

We were the very busy parents of three boys, we own a business,

we had roles in our church, our school district, our community.

We had taken my Mom in who had a terrible accident and she lived with us for nearly 8 months.

Really it seemed there were just too many things going on all around us to 

even consider adopting.

ENTER GOD.

The nudging and the feeling that we were meant to do something related to adoption

would simply not go away. There were days when I  sort of wanted the feeling to end.

We were getting old and our boys were growing up... NOT GOD'S PLAN!

I kid you not when I say that not a week would go by without my excitement in telling 

my husband about another connection I had made related to adoption. It would happen 

so often that I would begin laughing when a conversation would start. I would expect to turn on the radio and hear something related to Ethiopia. When we finally started the process there was no question that the agency would be All God's Children International but we were unsure about the country.

We initially chose Nepal for many reasons but again ENTER GOD...

We spent several months worrying about our choice to be in the Nepal program. There was little transparency and we felt very unsure about where we stood with the timeline of the program.

SO YOU SEE 

this process for us was 

BLURRY.

Finally after a million signs and many conversations we both KNEW beyond a doubt that Ethiopia 

was where we were meant to be all along.

The change in programs was a BIG STRUGGLE.

We had to begin again, all the paperwork, the money and the home study...

Yes indeed it all had to be done again!

There is so much more to the story of hurdles and roadblocks that happen in adoption.

I am asked daily why it is not easier to adopt and now I have a clarity that I lacked two years ago...

My answer to that question now is this...

Perhaps the process of adoption is challenging in order to challenge us.

Do we have a faith that is giant enough to see us through.

Will we turn and run the other direction when the situation is not going as we 

have planned? Will we trust, pray and share our thoughts and fears with others?

Will we develop a community within the adoption world who will help squelch our fears with their own stories?

You see God not only wanted us to bring home a little one who needed a family from Ethiopia but 

HE wanted to change and rearrange our hearts. That was the grand plan! 

So even the BLURRY days were days of purpose.

I tell you all this and show you sweet little Ava's blurry face to encourage you to keep pressing forward.

Adoption is not a simple task but it is not meant to be.

Wear a smile each day knowing that if adoption has chosen you well you are richly blessed and 

should be pinching yourself with anticipation and excitement. For you have so much ahead that God wants you to experience. You are chosen and we are chosen.

After all we were adopted into God's kingdom.

Enjoy the moments and remember that clarity might just come later in the 

calling.